Always With Love
By Pastor Rosemary Landry
During the past couple of months, several loved ones in our lives and in our church have died. It is a difficult time – even more difficult because it happens around the holidays. That's because the holidays hold so much tradition and are a time when families traditionally get together. It's hard to remember those happy times when the person we knew or loved is gone. So, in memory of our family and friends who have passed away this year, I decided to share some insights from a wonderful article, “Always With Love,” by Sarah Kerr.
“When someone dies, take a deep breath and be present to the magnitude of the moment. There's a grace to being at the bedside of someone you love as they make their transition out of this world. The veil between the worlds opens. We're so unprepared and untrained in how to deal with death that sometimes a panic response kicks in. We knew they were going to die, so their death is not a surprise or a problem to be solved. If anything, their death is cause to take a deep breath, to stop and be really present to what's happening. If you're at home, maybe put on the kettle for a cup of tea.
Sit at the bedside and just be present to the experience in the room. What's happening for you? Pausing gives your soul a chance to adjust, because no matter how prepared we are, a death is still a shock. If we kick right into “do” mode and call 9-1-1 or the hospice, we never get a chance to absorb the enormity of the event. Give yourself five, ten, or fifteen minutes to just be. You'll never get that time back if you don't take it now. After that, do the smallest thing you can. Call the one person who needs to be called. Engage whatever systems need to be engaged, but engage them at the very most minimal level. Move really, really, really, really slowly, because this is a period where it is easy for the body and the soul to get separated.
Our bodies can gallop forwards, but sometimes our souls haven't caught up. If you have an opportunity to be quiet and present, take it. Accept and acclimatize and adjust to what is happening. Then, as the train starts rolling, and all the things that happen after a death kick in, you will be better prepared. You won't get a chance to catch your breath later on. You need to do it now. Being present in the moments after death is an incredible gift to yourself, it's a gift to the people you're with, and it's a gift to the person who just died.”
May the New Year be one in which you find comfort and serenity in the midst of whatever is happening in your life. Please be sure to let me know if you have any special needs that I, or the church, can help you with. I am in my 10th year of serving as you pastor. I invite you to send me topics that you would like me to discuss in my Sunday messages.
May you always feel that God is with you as you walk your journey this year.
Shalom,
Pastor Rosemary